Congratulations to all the good dads who make incredible sacrifices for their children and refute the negative stereotype of men not providing for their sons and daughters. The fact is, one doesn’t have to work hard to be a bad father. Failing father figures are not a new phenomenon. Being a nice guy, good business man, or even someone of great stature and importance does not make a man with children -a good dad. Yet and still fathers must be careful not to do things that illicit bitterness, hatred, rejection and ultimately anger from their children.
There are numerous examples in the Bible where fathers fell short of proper leadership of their children. Consider the case of the Prophet Eli who in his old age failed to address or correct his sons for their evil actions in regards to how they lay with the women who came to the tabernacle for worship. (Judges 2:22). A good father holds his children accountable for their behavior and deals with them accordingly.
We can not overlook the poor example of fatherhood exhibited by King David when one of his sons (Amnon) raped his daughter (Tamar). And while the scripture says David was angry, he nevertheless failed to act upon this horrible action by Amnon his son which would lead to his other son Absolon murdering Amnon. (2 Samuel 13: 14-20). Sometimes as dads, it is our lack of action that is our greatest sin.
And while we celebrate Joseph for receiving a coat of many colors from his father- Israel (Genesis 37:1-28), we are also introduced to Israel’s act of extreme respect of persons among his children by showing favoritism to one child over eleven others- ten older brothers and one sister. Israel’s favoritism evoked bitterness, envy and strife among his children toward Joseph. And as fathers we must have integrity and be just, and fair in how we deal with all of our children.
Finally, there is the interesting case of Onan (son of Judah) who based on Jewish custom had to marry the widow (Tamar) of his deceased brother (Er) and raise up children to carry his brother’s name. However during sexual intimacy, he intentionally spilled his seed on the ground. (Genesis 38:9) Onan wanted the pleasure of sex without the responsibility of fatherhood.
God was so displeased with Onan that He took his life. Many brothers today have the same mentality as Onan. Even still, God is greatly displeased when fathers fail to maintain accountability and responsibility for their children.
Indeed the impact of fatherlessness is the United States is staggering. And the statistics don't lie. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of the Census)
Moreover, according to the U.S. Center for Disease Control, 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. And 70% of juveniles in state-operated correctional institutions come from homes void of fathers based on a report released by the U.S. Justice Department. Indeed many of the social ills of of our community have been caused by the lack of fathers in our homes. Brothers need to "Man Up" and take responsibility for their children.
In conclusion, as men and as fathers, one has to recognize that if you are going to let it flow, you must be prepared to help him or her grow. And if you’re going to seed it; you better be prepared to feed it. If you are going to lay around then stay around. Fathers must be accessible, available, active, financially responsible and engaged in the life of their children. And Mad props to the dads who go the extra mile because time is out for Failing Father Figures.
