That Girl: The Virtuous Woman

Proverbs 31:10-12 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
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Everybody's looking for That Girl. Has anybody seen a virtuous woman? In today's society, many men complain that there are not enough good women available and that the ones who are available are only interested in money and material things. Hence, to many brothers, the virtuous woman is an illusion.

In fact-surprisingly enough -the most significant issue in the lives of many guys older than 30 is not challenges with their jobs, careers or even finances. It is not even problems with reaching their goals, obtaining their dreams or achieving their destiny in life. The biggest obstacles facing most men today involves bad decisions they have made regarding women.

These challenges range in severity and depth and involve a variety issues which include poor relationships with the mother of their children, custody battles, child support issues, alimony payments, recovery from divorce, broken heart, lack of communication, lack of trust, inability to be faithful in a relationship/marriage, lack of respect, lack of sex in marriage, lack of support, inability to be honest and open, failure of committment, and the list goes on to include other similar topics.

These items can altar the course of one’s life. Therefore it is important that you choose the right woman. So finding a virtuous woman is more than a casual adventure. The reason that many men make bad decisions when it comes to women is because they choose solely based on looks, how a females dresses, and other superficial qualities.

Fact is, women all ready look good. But with all of the enhancements available to embellish their looks, one must be sure you know what you are getting. Ladies today can uses everything from face lifts, to tummy tucks, breast implants, butt implants, weaves, wigs, make up, eye lashes, fake nails, and high heal shoes to get your attention. And that’s just to half of it. These things can cause a brother to look pass a woman’s true character and focus only on the exterior if one is not careful.

Choosing a woman simply based on looks without considering other notable traits can be a costly decision. One should know how she thinks, how she treats people and what kind of character she possesses. And try to observe how she acts around others including her family. In general, one should also know weather the young lady is honest, nice, and trust worthy. (By the way, make sure you also possess these qualities)

In conclusion, one must be patient; be wise; be smart and make the right choice to find a virtuous woman. Selecting a woman as your wife without knowing these things is like buying a car without taking a test drive, or buying a house without doing a walk through, or like buying a watch because its shinny. Therefore, one should never make rash decisions about selecting a wife because if you do - in the end, you are likely to have - regrets.

Finding A Wife

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”  Proverbs 18:22
Good Counsel
 Allow me to offer  some advice to those men contemplating marriage. As it relates to finding a wife, some men find temporary companionship. Others find casual sex. Subsequently, we also find unexpected fatherhood and the responsibilities that it brings. With the exception of accepting Jesus Christ as one’s savior, finding a wife is the most important decision in a man’s life. And there is a specific process to find the right woman. 

Finders Keepers
To start, the man who is looking for a wife must initially find himself. He must find himself mature, morally disciplined, trustworthy, and financially stable. With these things in tact, he is ready to begin.  First, it is interesting that the scripture uses the word “find” which means to locate, attain or obtain by search or effort. Find also means to ascertain by study or calculation. Hence, finding a wife involves a process by which one must look and investigate. In fact, the purpose for man’s search to find a wife goes back to the second chapter of Genesis when God observes that man needs a help mate. From that point onward the search began.

The scripture goes on to say in Genesis 2:21-22 “that God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man.” Hence, our ultimate goal as men is to locate our missing rib- your future wife. Therefore, every man must have a criteria for the specific woman for which he seeks. Besides the obvious things like attraction which consist of her looks, her build, and the way she carries herself, there are a number of other qualities to consider.

Musical artists bring a unique perspective to the topic of love. Tina Turner asks the question in a song- “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” The Beatles on the other hand assert that “All you need is love.” Actually love is a key ingredient. In fact, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:22 “that husbands should love their wives even as Christ love the church and gave himself for her.” Nevertheless, when looking for a wife, love is not the only thing that one should consider.

Attributes such as attitude, friendliness, personality, trustworthiness, honesty, character, intelligence and integrity are extremely important. In addition, religion (Is she a Christian and does she believe the way I do), culture and health status are also significant items to consider. Attitudes toward having children, cooking, and managing a home should also be discussed.

Um Um Good
Secondly, notice that the passage says that he finds a “good thing.” The right woman brings a lot of good to the man she marries. She’s a partner, co-pilot, teammate and builder together with her husband. I am reminded how my life improved for the better when I married my wife Hope. I ate better. I dressed better; I slept better. I was simply better off as a result of adding her to my life. The Bible validates this in Proverbs 31:12 which says “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Allow me to briefly address three areas of good that a wife should bring.

The woman you marry needs to be good To you. She should be an encouragement, a helper and an overall blessing in your life. The impact should be immediate and long lasting. Not only that, but the woman you marry needs to be good For you. She should complement you and enhance your destiny. Truth be told, you should be better off as a result of adding her to your life. In fact, she should upgrade your life.

Last but not least, this person (your rib) should be good With you. Together, the two of you should make a great combination. And you should also enhance and improve her life as well. In fact, the good that a wife brings to her husband goes back to the creation of man as reflected in Genesis 2:18 as the scripture says, “. . . It is not good that man should be alone. I will be make him an help meet for him.” Hence the main purpose of one’s search is not just for a pretty face, but for someone who is going to bring good to the man in his search.

Highly Favored

The scripture also says that God will grant favor to the man who finds a wife. So beyond the goodness that comes with having a wife, God will render increased blessings to a man as a result of the union of marriage. No wander the Word of God says, “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” God has his mind set on delivering favor to the married man. In conclusion, one should not enter into a marriage lightly. Only after personal examination and diligent searching for the perspective wife, should a man move forward. This will enable one to see with clarity. 

Yes, beneath the pretty clothes and the make up, beneath the ear rings, the eye lash, and lipstick, under the beautiful eyes, soft skin, and wavy hair, far beyond the alluring appearance of her breast, hips, and buttocks, is something more meaningful than great career, will take you further than a fancy car, bring more comfort than a luxury home, and add more value than great riches; Incidentally, the right woman can help you achieve all of these things. If you are indeed blessed to make a wise decision not altered by the lust of your loins, you will have received the greatest earthly gift God gave to man: A wife